


Wonder in His Eyes

by Grudge_e



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ash Lynx is Happy (kinda), Ash's past Is Not Mentioned, But like I don't go into it at all lmao), Canon Compliant, Character Study, Falling In Love, Fluff, Ibe Shorter Skip and Charlie are all mentioned but like ridiculously briefly, Kissing, M/M, Minor Swearing, Or at least this isn't actively not canon compliant you feel, This is super gushy and romantic, Who knows how to tag even, and its what these two deserve, bc thats all i can write, tender moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 05:32:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16278650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grudge_e/pseuds/Grudge_e
Summary: Ash didn’t know who was more entranced: the boy who marveled at the gun in his hands, or the boy marveling at hands who treated the gun like it was a foreign object. Eiji cradled it in both palms for a moment, seeming unwilling to fully wrap his fingers around it, before very quickly handing the weapon back.“Thanks for trusting me with it.” Eiji said, as if Ash knew a single person who’d earned the right to be trusted with a firearm.///Ash falls in love with Eiji; with his eyes, with his hands, with his spirit. Ash falls in love with Eiji, and swears to protect him forever.





	Wonder in His Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be like... cheekier. Funnier. More about, like, sporadic kisses and teasing between Eiji and Ash as their relationship grows. But it got really tender instead, so here we are!
> 
> This is my first work in the Banana Fish fandom, and I only watched the anime a couple of days ago, but I hope that this is fairly in-character and makes sense! I'm just so soft for these kids, they deserve so much more than what they've been given. I'm excited to write some more for them, and hopefully writer stronger pieces as I get to know them better! I've only seen the anime, and don't plan on reading the manga until the anime is finished airing, but I've heard it has a downright tragic end so like you can bet I'll be out here trying to fix that shit. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and enjoy!

From the moment he’d caught sight of what had to be the kindest eyes he’d ever seen from across the bar, Ash knew he was in trouble. Ash took in the open slope of shoulders, the hair cropped close to the back of a neck, the gentle hands curled around the strap of a bag – grasped firmly, anxiety winding those muscles tight – and struggled with believing the owner of such traits could possibly be older than him. Limbs were kept close to the body, back kept straight. The face, however, betrayed a childlike openness, a curiosity, an innocence that was at once captivating and foolish.

Ash wasn’t sure if Eiji’s obvious innocence was more worthy of mockery or jealousy. Did lack of understanding of the world he was visiting make him stupid, ignorant – or did it just betray a beautifully safe upbringing? Was his easy smile, such a brilliantly bright smile, something to be sneered at or embraced with arms held open; a rare drop of water to a man dying of dehydration? The thoughts should have made Ash warier. 

“Is that gun real?” Eiji asked Ash, one of the most fearsome gang leaders in New York. His face flushed with realization immediately after. “Real guns are illegal in Japan. Can I hold it?” 

“Sure.” Ash said, ignoring the surprise of the others in the bar. He placed the gun in waiting hands.

Ash didn’t know who was more entranced: the boy who marveled at the gun in his hands, or the boy marveling at hands who treated the gun like it was a foreign object. Eiji cradled it in both palms for a moment, seeming unwilling to fully wrap his fingers around it, before very quickly handing the weapon back. 

“Thanks for trusting me with it.” Eiji said, as if Ash knew a single person who’d earned the right to be trusted with a firearm. “Can I ask you something?” 

“What?” Ash regarded him with a careful stare.

“Have you actually killed anyone?” Eyes met eyes; one pair cautious yet curious – doe eyes that should have been shallow and glassy, but shone with a quietly held intelligence – the other as cold as their color – a well-practiced stare betraying none of the absolute wonder that Ash was feeling.

“Yeah.” 

“You have, huh.” Eiji tore his eyes away from Ash’s, and the moment was broken. Ash regarded his sudden interest in his shoes with something close to mourning. 

“Such a baby.” Words spoken with an intentional casualness to them, a teasing tone, intended to drive a stake between Ash and Eiji. Intended to make clear their differences. Intended to shut down further interaction. It hadn’t been more than 10 minutes since the Japanese men had arrived, but in that time Ash had decided that Eiji was allowed to have any more of a glimpse into this world of crimes and horrors than the simple interview would provide. Maybe it was stupid, but there was a part of Ash that hoped Eiji’s eyes would forever be able to retain the innocent shine he’d seen when he first entered the bar. It was probably pretty fucking stupid. 

Ash pretended not to see Eiji stare at him across the bar. 

///

Ash never knew that a human could fly, but there Eiji was. 

Those hands - the same hands that had gripped his bag with anxious white knuckles, the same hands that had held Ash’s gun with an almost fearful looseness – held on to the rusty pipe with an elegant surety. They slid into place on the makeshift pole with a familiarity that looked out of place against the rusted metal. They were stronger than they once appeared. 

Arthur’s goons were running down the alley towards the trio, but Eiji didn’t falter. Ash watched as he took in the hole he’d made in the ground, the wall, and the barbed wire with nothing short of a quiet confidence. Eiji took a breath. Ash held his. 

Ash blinked, and suddenly Eiji was soaring. His body was illuminated by the first rays of the sunrise, bathed in gold. He’d cleared the barbed wire with feet to spare, whole body poised in an elegant arc. Ash swore he hung there, suspended in midair. He swore he saw the morning sunbeams turn into wings on his back, and for a moment he wondered if Eiji would really begin to fly away. 

Skip was cheering and the goons were approaching, but Ash was trapped in a moment of awe. It was only broken by the sounds of Eiji’s crash landing. 

There was a part of Ash, however small, that didn’t particularly mind being caught by Arthur like he had. It had led to him seeing a miracle, after all. 

///

The stuffy, concrete visitation room of the prison was hardly a romantic place for a first kiss, but Ash had never been a particularly romantic guy in the first place. He stuck close to Eiji at the small table they were seated at, putting on a bit of a show. He was pleased that his plan had fallen into place when Eiji responded positively to Ash’s request to see him. If he was also pleased by Eiji’s sweet words (“I was glad to hear that you wanted to see me”, he’d said, sounding genuinely happy), he wasn’t focused on it. 

Charlie stood from where he was seated with Max and announced to Ibe and Eiji that it was time to leave. 

“Take care, then.” Eiji walked alongside Ash. His eyes looked up through heavy lashes, shy and kind all at once. “Don’t worry, you’ll be out soon.”

“Yeah.” Letting a smile come to his face, Ash took a couple steps closer to Eiji. “I’m glad you came today, Eiji.” He raised a hand to the other’s cheek, brushing through his hair and settling against the cup of his ear. He rubbed a small circle on Eiji’s cheekbone with his thumb.

“Ah, yeah.” Eiji mumbled, glancing at the hand out of the corner of his eye. Pink dusted his cheeks.

“Come alone next time, got it?” Eiji’s eyes widened at Ash’s quiet words. 

“Why…? What…?” 

When Ash kissed Eiji, he took the first couple seconds to just… Kiss him. Enjoy kissing him. It occurred to him that this was probably Eiji’s first – which, frankly, he didn’t mind at all. He moved his tongue (and the pill casing containing his note) further into Eiji’s mouth, and then pulled away abruptly. Keeping his hand on the back of Eiji’s neck, Ash locked eyes with him. 

Eiji’s eyes had lost their confusion and embarrassment and looked into his with grim understanding. They held each other’s gaze, though not long. Not as long as Ash would have liked. But there was only so long they could seriously stare at each other without arising suspicion, and so Ash adopted a cheeky grin, copped a quick feel of Eiji’s ass, and winked at Charlie and Ibe. 

“Later sweetie, bye!” He cheered, walking off. 

Eiji excused himself to the bathroom. Ash let out a breath. 

He wondered if Eiji really would visit him alone. He wondered what might happen if he did. 

///

Cape Cod was the last place Ash wanted to go. He didn’t find peace in the salty air, or the sea breezes, or the stretches of grassy land. He was a city rat, a gang leader. He didn’t care for any part of the countryside, much less his childhood home – if it could be called a home. 

There was something to be said, however, for the way Eiji looked when he first saw the sea. The first opportunity he got, he ran off with Ash to the cliffs to look down at the water below, marveling at the violence with which the waves churned into a foamy mess and crashed up against the rocks below. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the choppy waters, stirred and salted by the ocean winds. His hair tousled by the wind, he looked over at Ash with a blinding smile. 

“It’s so beautiful here.” Eiji’s cheeks were reddened by the harsh winds, nose patchy with cold, arms wrapped around himself. Ash could find nothing but joy in his expression. 

“Yeah.” He heard himself responding distantly, transfixed. “Guess it is.” 

///

That night, after everyone was asleep, Ash nudged Eiji awake. Frankly, he was unsure as to why; he just knew that he was awake, and he didn’t like being here, and Eiji usually made things better. Not in an active way, though he was a tough little bugger and could be handy when he needed to be – just… his presence made things a bit more bearable, usually. So he found himself shaking Eiji’s shoulder until he woke up. 

“Ash?” Eiji blinked blearily up at him, squinting in the darkness. 

“Grab a jacket and meet me outside.” Ash responded softly, taking care not to wake Shorter. 

Ash was sitting on the front steps when Eiji joined him, head pointed to the sky. 

“What does the sky look like in Japan?” Ash asked. Eiji sat next to him, thighs nearly touching, and stared at the stars with him. 

“No different from here.” He said, blinking. “… You really can see the stars so much better here than in the city.” 

“I guess.” Ash’s heart beat so violently in his chest that he thought it might burst. He didn’t dare look over at Eiji; he did, however, lean back on his hands, placing one behind the curve of Eiji’s back. He didn’t touch him. To Ash, the tension felt palpable. He wondered if Eiji felt it at all. “Griff liked the stars a lot. He could point out constellations and stuff. He used to take me out here and name them all off. I could never remember any of them, though.”

Eiji cast a hesitant look in Ash’s direction, shakily exhaling. Ash could feel the last vestiges of his breath on his skin before it dissipated into the night air. 

“I don’t know any, either.” Eiji said, voice barely louder than a whisper. “Want to make up our own?” 

Ash glanced over at Eiji’s crafty grin, cracking a smile himself. “What?” He asked, bemused. Eiji just pointed to a cluster of stars in the sky.

“See those eight stars? If you connected them they could… vaguely look like a wildcat. So that’s the lynx.” Ash snorted with laughter, and Eiji nudged him. “Hey, stop that!” He grinned. 

“Alright, alright.” Ash took to analyzing the stars, and it was only a moment before he pointed at his own line of stars. “Those five, all lined up? They look like a certain skinny Japanese kid I know, all skin and bones. We’ll call it the Eiji constellation.” 

“That’s so mean!” Eiji protested lightly, smile never leaving his face. Ash lined his pinky finger up with the stars, measuring them.

“Look, they’re about as tall as you are, too!” He held his pinky in front of Eiji’s face, laughing. 

“You know,” Eiji scoffed, “you really need to learn how to be more polite to your elders.” He chastised, folding Ash’s pinky back down. His hand hesitated on top of Ash’s, and Ash took advantage of it to twine their fingers together.

“Oh really?” Ash’s voice felt raspy even to his own ears. “And what are you going to do about it?”

Eiji’s face blossomed with color, barely visible under the moonlight. Ash abruptly dropped his hand and stood, turning to walk back inside. 

“Goodnight, Eiji. Sleep well.” He murmured over his shoulder. 

When Eiji crawled back into the makeshift bed that they were sharing with Shorter, Ash had to fight against the urge to turn and face him. 

///

Shorter was dead. Dino’s mansion was in ashes. Ash had taken more injuries than he would have liked. 

But Eiji was okay. Eiji was okay, and even after what he’d been through, his eyes still held the same kindness they did when they first met. More fear, maybe. More world weariness, certainly. But they were still kind.

“Give me a gun. I’ll protect myself.” Even as Eiji said that, Ash could hear the waver in his voice. He was desperate to not be the burden that Ash had told him he was. 

“There’s no need for that. One murderer is more than enough.” Ash replied, slowly turning to face Eiji. Their eyes locked. Ash’s shone with fierce protection, Eiji’s with something akin to astonishment. “I’ll protect you. Never leave my side.” 

Never was a big word. Ash meant it. 

“Be careful.” Eiji had said, face more serious than Ash had ever seen. “If I ever lose you too… I’ll go crazy.” Ash’s chest filled with an emotion he couldn’t place. “Come back safely! I’ll be waiting for you, forever.”

Forever was another big word. How Ash hoped Eiji meant it. 

Shorter was dead. Dino’s mansion was in ashes. Ash had taken more injuries than he would have liked. 

But Eiji was okay. And Eiji was always going to be okay, if Ash had any say in it. He would forever get to retain the kindness in his eyes, the gentle strength of his hands, the brilliant smile that dimpled his cheeks. Ash would protect him to hell and back, if it just meant that Eiji would be okay. Eiji didn’t have to be his, or even stay with him – he owed Ash nothing, and Ash would never ask for anything. He would just accept whatever Eiji was willing to give him, accept it with such immense gratitude, and pray that more would be given. He was a man dying of dehydration, and Eiji was an endless pool of water. 

///

Alone in an apartment on 5th Avenue, Eiji and Ash stood in their new kitchen. Eiji was cooking, he’d said something about wanting to prepare a proper Japanese dish for Ash, and Ash looked on as he leaned against a nearby counter. Eiji’s hands chopped the vegetables he was preparing with an unspoken expertise, movements quick and acquainted. It made Ash yearn to watch them wrap around a vaulting pole once again. Eiji seemed to approach vaulting with a sense of wonder, and though Ash had yet to see him properly pole vault, he was sure that being able to watch the reverence Eiji held for the sport, for flying, would be the most magical sight on earth. 

Ash walked up behind Eiji, chest a hair’s breadth from his back. Eiji stilled. 

“Ash?” Ash’s breath on the back of his neck made Eiji pause in his turn towards the other. He glanced over his shoulder, just catching sight of Ash’s eyes before lips pressed against the back of his head. 

“When we’re done with all of this,” Ash breathed, “I want to see you fly again.” He nosed against Eiji’s hair, hands coming down on the counter on either side of him. Eiji tensed for a second, and then quickly relaxed against Ash’s back. 

“Fly again? What are you talking about?” He smiled softly, giving Ash the time he needed to compose his thoughts. 

“When you jumped over the wall. Back when we first met.” Ash spoke slowly, as if each word had to be chosen with immense care. (They did. This was Eiji he was speaking to. Ash’s words mattered; Eiji needed to know just how important he was to him. Ash wasn’t a romantic, was never particularly delicate, but Eiji deserved romantic. Deserved delicate. Ash would do anything to give him that.) “You were… flying. You looked like an angel.” 

Eiji flushed up to his ears, sputtering. Ash smiled softly. 

“You’re so damn beautiful.” He buried his head in Eiji’s neck, trying to hide his laughter, and wrapped his arms around his waist. 

“Ash, I –” Eiji placed his hands over Ash’s.

“Eiji, I really love you, I think.” Ash’s whole body tensed, and he didn’t move his face from Eiji’s neck. “You don’t have to – you don’t have to return my feelings. I won’t get mad. I’ll still protect you. I just… wanted to say it.” 

They both stood there quietly, for a moment. Neither moved. Evening light streamed in through the nearby open window, accompanied by the sounds of cars and horns and people talking. 

When Ash could bear to lift his head, to meet Eiji’s eyes, he found they were filled with something akin to wonder. Eiji turned to face him completely. He lifted his left hand, brushing through Ash’s hair for a moment before settling on the cup of his ear. His thumb rubbed circles on Ash’s cheekbone. 

“You mean it?” Eiji asked, paused, brought his other hand up to cup Ash’s other cheek. “I love you too.” 

“You shouldn’t.” Ash warned, though his heart wasn’t in it. He was too busy taking in the warmth of Eiji’s hands, feeling the delicacy with which they brushed across his skin, to really protest. 

He wanted to protest more. Eiji deserved better than him, deserved someone more than a gang leader. A Murderer. A series of broken pieces held together by spite and bloody knuckles. Eiji deserved the world. Ash wanted to convince Eiji that he shouldn’t love him, but he was too busy basking in his love to bring himself to. Ash was such a rotten, selfish human being. 

“But I do.” Eiji held Ash’s gaze evenly. “And I always will.” 

Ash began to tear up. He covered Eiji’s hands with his own, and then traveled his hands down the other’s arms to cup his cheeks in return. He smooshed them between his hands. 

“Always, huh? Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Ash tried to make his voice light and teasing, but it just came out sounding sappy and soft. Eiji gently brushed the tears from his cheeks, smiling softly. 

“Is that a challenge?” He hummed, guiding Ash’s forehead down to press against his own. He smiled cheekily, grin only growing when Ash’s face colored. Ash pushed him up against the counter top. “Come to Japan with me, when this is over. I’ll pole vault for you. I’ll teach you how to pole vault too, if you want.” 

“You want to teach me to fly.” Ash eased his hands from Eiji’s cheeks to the back of his neck. A smile grew on his face, soft and genuine and open. Eiji’s breath caught in his throat. “I love you, Eiji Okumura.” He said it with confidence this time, voice crowded with elation and affection. 

Ash didn’t know it was possible to be so happy. In this kitchen, unfinished meal on the counter behind them, basking in the evening glow of the sunset, Eiji in his arms and in his thoughts, Ash was sure that this was the happiest he’d ever been. Eiji made it easy to forget Dino, Banana Fish, the gang, his past; he was just a normal teenager holding the boy he loved. 

Ash leaned in. 

His lips pressed against Eiji’s, and he had hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! Thanks for reading! That was tender as shit, I know. I don't feel like I captured Eiji as well as I maybe could have? But also it was VERY Ash heavy? I'll rewatch the anime soon so I can get them both down better in the future. 
> 
> Let me know if I have any spelling/grammar mistakes so I can fix them! If you liked it, drop a comment and let me know! 
> 
> Have a good one!


End file.
